Manna Thursdays

Went on a run (walk).

Coffee.

Laundry/Shower.

Cleaning.

Piano, of course. I think I've almost hit the 200 mark in my hymnal. Also, I've decided to learn a Prelude & Fugue (G Major) this summer. We'll see how that turns out. I'll probably start work on a Nocturne, too, as well as learning the last 2 movements of the Mozart Sonata I played this semester.

I went to Manna Ministries to serve tonight. For the first time, in a long time, I was overcome with God's presence - that He truly is working in this world, in people's hearts, in our communities, in our families, friends, neighbors - in everyone. Manna is a place where people in our community come on Thursday evenings to get food, clothes, hygiene supplies, toys/diapers/supplies for babies and kids, and also to sit with each other and with us in a place they know they're safe and their kids are safe. These are people who have been down on their luck, so to speak. Life has hit them hard, and that is evident by looking at them on the outside.

But I rejoiced in them tonight. I didn't really do much - served water and coffee and crackers - but I watched, and I interacted, I talked. I was touched and my heart was broken. These people are so grateful for Manna Ministries, and it shows in the way they talk to you. One man, whom I spoke to several times, kept saying 'thank you, Katie' and laughing and joking and messing around and his friends there with him were all carrying on just the same. The funny thing is, though, is that he called me by name deliberately because he looked at my volunteer's name tag. He was very polite and I had a lot of respect for him.

There was also a woman who asked for a mop or a broom or something because her daughter had made a mess. She told me that someone else said they'd take care of it, but then went on to explain "Well she's my daughter so I've got to clean up her mess. She's only 2, so that's what you've got to do." For some reason I was just blown away by all these people.

The kids get me too. All of them grab a cup and then politely come up to the counter where I'm standing to ask if they can have some water, when all they have to do is go to the end and get it themselves, but I always say "Yes, of course!" and hand them a cup, for which they always smile and say thank you.

I got a little perspective kicked into me today. If I had to wait in a hot room full of smelly people just to eat a meal, or if my kid spilled something and I had to clean it up, or they were out of lemonade and only had water, I would not be a happy camper. I am so ungrateful for the things I have, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I try to 'be a good person' and love others, but I'm so prideful about so many things. Pride can take many forms, and I think I discovered one of them today. Stuff. When I'm "lacking" something in my life or in my realm of possessions, I complain, get angry, throw fits, focus on getting it back or something. What I should be focused on is how to get other people things that they need instead of worrying about what I want. Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

I need - I want - a mind and a heart that focuses on the needs of other people. I got to do that tonight, but I feel that my heart could be into it way more. I love serving, giving back, giving in general, loving people. I am praying that God gives me a lens of grace to look through when running in to people so that I can love them without condition and without judgment to show them God's deeper love for all of us.