Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

Time

Today I went to work. Worked on my bracelet that still isn't done. Mopped the floors at work. Helped the swim team coach at work meaning I got to work "overtime" which was cool I guess.

I went to Alexa's house and we began our quest for sorting out our massive piles of yard sale stuff. It's getting pretty intense. We watched Bunheads. I really like that show a lot.

I came home, spent too much time on the computer, took a shower, and here we are. I need to be brief because the internet is distracting me from Jesus.

Sayonara.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

THERE IS NO CHARGE FOR AWESOMENESS.

Okay hi. I've been a'slackin' lately. My apologies.

Recently, though, I've just been working a lot, and talking to God a lot. So, how's about I give you the lowdown on my weekend?

Friday I got up super early (8:15, haha) and did a little bit of packing, and then met a good friend/former calculus teacher at Panera for coffee to, you know, talk and stuff and catch up on life. We had some really great conversation and I was incredibly grateful to have gotten to talk to her. We talked about life, and school, and work, and math, and Jesus and it was great! We got to talk about our walks with Christ and our families and how God as Father is different for some people and just about how radically different your life looks when you love and follow Jesus. It was the greatest, and I'm hoping to get to hang out with her again soon!!

After that, I went home, ate lunch, packed up my car and drove my very first big girl road trip all by myself from my house to Richmond which took about 2 and a half hours. I was so scared and nervous that my car wouldn't make it, but I got there and back with 3/4 of a tank of gas in 320 miles! I felt so accomplished. Well anyway I was going to visit some friends from school because we hadn't seen each other in a month, and it was SO MUCH FUN! We hung out, watched thunderstorms, played cards, went swimming, and had a really nice time catching up and hanging out! Unfortunately I had to drive back Saturday night while others stayed until Sunday, but it was a great deal of fun.

While I was gone Saturday my BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD AT THE MOMENT and his dad moved a piano from the church to my house so now I have two pianos and it was free!!!!! I am forever grateful. When I got home last night I played on it. It's horribly out of tune, but IT WAS FREE and that's an easy fix. (: (: (:

Sunday (today) was absolutely insane. Of course, I'm exhausted and crazily sunburnt from yesterday, but I had to be at my church at 8:30 this morning to sing, and right after I had to be at another church all the way across town to play the piano (which I got paid for, holler!) and then I had to be at work at 12:30. Ha well I got there at 1:00, but it's whatever. I could not keep my eyes open at work today! I was so tired. I could not wait to close. I actually left some work undone because I'm opening tomorrow and I was too tired to clean so I decided to get there early tomorrow and finish it up.

I'm going to watch Army Wives tonight because it's coming on again. I'm so pumped. I wanna take a bath, kinda. But I also wanna wash my hair. But I think I'm gonna go running in the morning so maybe I'll wait.

Can I just talk about how awesome God is? Because seriously, I just have no words. No accurate words, no words strong enough, vivid enough to portray His awesome greatness. These words do not do Him justice. I am so grateful for all He's done for me and all He continues to do because otherwise I'd be lost and dead in sin. Instead I die to myself daily and rid myself of sin by praying for forgiveness from God through Jesus blood. Which is insane.

Praying is great. It's so fun and just awesome. Whoever cares to, pray for my friend Chelsea, my friend Kelly, and my friend Kourtney. That is all. (:

Here's to a Jesus-filled summer!

Hymn update soon!

Don't forget about mine and Alexa's yard sale happening July 14th! Luke 18:22 - "Sell all you have and give to the poor and you will have treasure in Heaven." We're still taking donations!

God bless!

<3

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Thoughts

Today I:
Went to work
Got locked out, which led to reading and tanning.
Watered the grass
Tanned and read some more
Mowed the back yard
Took a shower
Practiced piano
and
Watched some TV.

I read something a few minutes ago that really struck a chord with me, from Proverbs:

"He promises a place to quiet your thoughts in His presence. "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'"

God is good. 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Where You Go, We Will Follow

Thank You God for:
time
sky
clouds
mountains
cars
books
the Bible
grace
prescriptions
Jesus
love
friends
parents
intestines
fingers
keyboards
hymns
Bach
shoes
feet
tables
coffee
coffee
coffee
speakers
food
houses
clothes
colors
the ocean
THE SUN
THE SON
piano
teachers
math
belts
boxes
calendars
the color red
the letter W
fireworks
balloons
bubbles
cotton candy
apples
kidneys
livers
brains
minds
consciences
clips
outlets
music
art
church
THE church
string
cats
grass
hammocks
peace
unity
prayer
shadows
valleys
soup
fruit
songs
violins
guitars
J. K. Rowling
Girl Scouts
yearbooks
cards
matches
hand sanitizer
Pez
crayons
Easter
Christmas
killing death with death and life at the same time
being awesome
and strong
and gentle
and loving
and merciful
and fair
and powerful
and welcoming
and faithful
and everywhere
knowing me
helping me
giving me more than I deserve
hope
JOY
Alyssa
Tori
college
towels
perfume
water
marriage
sex
children
earrings
toes
hair
plates
paper
thumbtacks
medicine
pens
pins
work
cameras
maps
history
being my All in All
being I Am
loving me, forgiving me, extending grace to me when I don't deserve it. Which is all the time.

Please, God, forgive me. There is so much evil in my heart and I have to work so hard to get it out because it's a part of me and it's engrained in me. But so is Your Word and Truth, and eternity. Help me to dwell on THAT. I know I don't have the strength to rid myself of all this grossness, so  pray that You do it for me. Or help me. I want my heart set on You. Focused on You. Spending time with You. Reading Your Word. Not given Satan a foothold to tear me down. Not giving in to temptation. Please. Help me. You are so good and so awesome and wonderful. Your beauty in creation never ceases to astound me and I thank you for the masterful artwork you designed for our aesthetic pleasure, to demonstrate your vastness and goodness that we are able to praise You for.

Amen.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

James 5:16

Apologies. I've been at a loss for words. Probably because I'm not really listening to God and praying enough, and He's urging me to direct my words to Him.

Prayer. We search and look so so so hard for answers to problems that we think God needs to solve, but we forget to pray. I read something today that said something along the lines of "Talking to man for the sake of God is great, and talking to God for the sake of man is even greater still." I believe that to be true, but I'm having a hard time sitting in the presence of God.

I realized: part of it is that if I truly pray the way God wants me to, He's gonna make me face forgiving my dad. Which I'm not sure if I'm ready for. But, I've been saying that for years. If I don't put this in God's hands and obey Him, I'm going to have the Holy Spirit and my conscience gnawing at my soul until I do. The good thing, though, is that once I set myself free from this sin and bitterness, I will WANT to spend time with God because I won't feel guilty about it.

I haven't really told anyone that in those exact words. Oh well. Now the world wide web will get a taste of my real, vulnerable life.

I'm watching Bunheads. The Blindside just went off. I'm hungry. I cut myself shaving today. I went to work, finished a book, went for a run, and took a shower. I learned that prayer is the biggest chunk of necessity missing from my life.

God is doing some crazy things in my life. I'm excited to answer His call, and listen as He shows me where to go.

I have some food to a homeless man the other day. That was my first step, I think. Satan tried to make me feel bad about it. That's when I realized that the more good we do in the name of Jesus, the more opposition we're gonna face, and the worse we're gonna feel until we realize that God is so much bigger than all of that. He knows my heart, and Satan's just trying to get me away from that. I realized, also, that he's trying to keep me away from prayer, because that's a victory for him. But I don't wanna give him that. I want to give God everything. And that starts with prayer. So, when will I take my first step? Well I don't know. But I know that wonderful things will happen when I do.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

On My Day Off

I'm tired, so first, I'm going to thank God for things for 60 seconds:

friends
talking
saliva
shoes
paper
cards
computers
bags
tissues
medicine
flags
the cross
green
circles
outlets
letters
colons
punctuation
organs
pianos
intestines

I had a hard time thinking of things. I think every once in a while I'm gonna collect all my 60 seconds of praising Jesus and write them down to remind myself what I have to be thankful for when things don't seem so great.

Today was interesting. I went on a very short run, drove to Salem (which was TERRIBLE) to meet with a lady at the church I'm going to be subbing for next week and potentially 2 more times this summer. I drove back, and the whole trip was over 2 hours! including spending half an hour at the church. Craziness. But I'm excited to make some extra money on top of the job I already have. That's always a good time. I also got an email back from a church MUCH closer to home and life that may be willing to let me do some subbing this summer as well. It's amazing how hugely God provides when we take the time to just do our part and trust in Him! Crazy, really. But we serve a crazy God. An awesome God, but a crazy one. Which is totally and completely AWESOME!!

Anyway, I went to C.Re.W. after that and we had a cookout and I sat around and talked with some cool people, my friends Corina and Kathryn gave me a ton of stuff to put in the yard sale/donate! I can't wait to go through it all and see what they decided to get rid of.

I also had a really great talk with my sister tonight. It was good to get to hang out with her. I talked a lot about what I had read in Jesus For President and I'm going to get her to read it so we can discuss it and hold each other accountable for what it's taught us. We're also going to Frogurt on Friday. But no big deal.

I forgot my hymn count. I got past the 500 mark, though! I think my goal was to be finished by the 15th of June, but I'm not sure if that will actually happen. I'll try and practice a lot tomorrow and Friday, though, but it probably will not happen. Which I am sad about. I'm also still in the process of learning my Prelude and Fugue. My goal is to have the first page of my Fugue learned by next Wednesday (so, in a week).

That's all for now. I've started that new book by TobyMac and I think I'm going to like it a lot! It's a lot about unity among Christians spread among nations and nationalities and how connected we are in the body of Christ and I'm really excited to read his insights on what his song means to him and what it should mean to us as Christians. I have to work tomorrow, so I'll probably get some good reading in. I also need to get gas, get shots, and go to Manna. YAY! :D

Reminder about my and Alexa's yard sale: July 14th, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m., 5124 Carter Grove Lane, Roanoke, VA 24012, all proceeds and left over merchandise is being donated - NOTHING is being used for profit or personal gain, we will be selling refreshments and treats. EVERYONE EVER SHOULD COME. :D

More info from my last post is here!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Conversations

So today I was at work, talking to one of the girls I work with and her cousin who was just standing at the window because we were slow and bored and whatnot. And I don't remember exactly what brought up the conversation, but I do remember talking about dying or something, I mean it was really light-hearted and really just joking around and stuff and this girl, Rachel, who I work with said well something didn't matter (like I said, I don't remember the conversation) because she was going to be cremated.

OH NOW I REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS. We were talking about being organ donors, like on our drivers' licenses, and her cousin, Paige, was like, "Ew, why would you do that? I'm not gonna do that!" And so I explained to her (because she's like 13) that it just meant that if you die in a car accident or something the medics have permission to use your organs for living people who need them, and that when I'm dead I'm not going to have any use for them. That's when Rachel (15) said she was going to be cremated.

Okay yeah. Then I said, "I'm want to be cremated too because I'll take up less space that way. And when I'm dead it won't matter!" They both just kind of laughed at that. And then, kind of out of nowhere, and I almost surprised myself by saying this out loud, to these girls whom I barely know, but I just randomly said, "You know, I'm just really tired of living here, and I wish I could die and go to Heaven right now, because it's just going to be so much better!"

Immediately, Rachel, with a shocked look on her face, said, "WHAT?! Well what if Heaven doesn't even exist? And what about all the atheists?" To that I simply replied, "Well I believe that it exists, and when I die, that's where I'm going, because I believe in Jesus." That's pretty much where the conversation ended, and Rachel didn't really say much after that. She just kind of looked down and changed the subject. But as I was walking back to where she and her cousin, Paige, were standing, Paige kind of looked at me and whispered, "Me too."

Anyway, it was kind of an interesting little conversation. I'm actually really hoping to get to talk to Rachel more about Jesus now that I basically threw the whole, "I wanna die and go to Heaven" thing at her out of nowhere. I don't know what's going to come of it, but I do know that being faithful to God by planting seeds of the Good News of Jesus into people's hearts and minds means that God will give me the words and love to speak His Truth.

So basically I got my first glimpse today of what it's like to openly and proudly declare the love of Jesus and His great power and love and mercy when it's not wanted, which is what I'm supposed to do. It was a little weird, but that first step gave me all the more confidence to be bold about my faith and bold about my awesome God! :D

On that note, I am SO CLOSE to being done with Jesus For President. I think I'm actually going to try and finish it tonight, because I really only have a teensy tiny bit left. It has truly been an inspiring book and I encourage anyone, if they can get their hands on a copy and some spare time, to read it, cover to cover, footnotes, appendixes, and all. Tomorrow I will be moving on to either City On Our Knees by Toby Mac, or Own Your Faith by...someone. Hehe.

And now, 60 seconds praising Jesus for:

tables
chairs
napkins
glasses
doors
skies
mountains
oceans
seat belts
pockets
change
checks
envelopes
people
family
friends
babies
electricity
google
tanktops
pianos
Canada
lamps
ribbons
numbers
pi
teachers

Side note: I am so beyond grateful for EVERY teacher I've ever had, and teachers I've never had, who profess their faith in Jesus Christ. I know it's forbidden in public schools, but I can't wait to spread the love of Jesus like a wildfire when I become a teacher. Jesus constantly pushed boundaries, and I cannot say 'thank you' enough to my teachers who have done that. I'm thinking of one in particular who actually fueled my desire to become a math teacher and to do it well for Jesus! God calls us to readily proclaim the Gospel in everything that we do, and if we're not doing it in our jobs, then maybe we need a new job. Or to redefine our jobs. And if we get fired, we are martyrs for Christ. Without the whole dying part. Though that has happened before.

Hymn count: (approximately) 492; hoping to get past the 500 mark tomorrow!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Just A Minute

I'm just gonna take a minute to write things I thank God for. I'm gonna set a timer for 60 seconds and just go. Because, how often do we spend just praising God and worshipping Him for all that He does, and all that He's done, and how AWESOME HE IS?!? We don't. And the truth is, when Jesus gave the disciples that model prayer, it's like 89% about giving God praise and adoration and honor and glory and declaring His wonderfulness among the nations and within our hearts, and 11% about US - what we want, what we need, what our friends need, what our family needs or wants, how we wanna change the world. So I'm just gonna focus on HIM for a minute.

the sun
the clouds
the sky
the earth
birds
trees
beds
showers
clothes
food
apples
pillows
clocks
people
love
grace
mercy
the Bible
Paul
the cross
music
ears
eyes
fingers
noses
plaid
string
sunglasses
cars
water
books
hats
candles
green
colors
art

Maybe I'll do this every time I blog - spend 60 seconds (or more, because that felt like not enough time to thank God) realizing all that God has blessed me with.

Also, my apologies for skimping out on a few days. I will also give a hymn number update soon. I believe I stopped last time somewhere around 481.

I watched Bun Heads tonight. It was really good and cute and SO MUCH like Gilmore Girls and I love it! Alexa and I started making signs for our Luke 18:22 yard sale which hopefully will be a big hit!

I spent time with my dear dear friend Chelsea yesterday. Talking to her somehow makes my day brighter. She's like a cute little ray of sunshine and Jesus, come to encourage me and make me laugh and hold me accountable for life. Which is great. And which I also need.

Oh, I got a Sunday morning piano job today! Which was exciting. It reminded me how God always provides even when we FORGET to do our part. Which also REMINDED ME to do my part now that I've been reminded and provided for and such. We really do serve an awesome God.

I'm almost done with Jesus For President. Seriously one of the best books I've read in a LONG time. I want to meet Shane Claiborne and shake his hand and say 'thank you'. Alexa and I have decided to follow Luke 14:13 and hold some sort of banquet at the church (with Rev's permission of course) and go out into the city and invite people we don't know who may not be as fortunate as we are. WE'RE GONNA SERVE LOTSA SPAGHETTI!!!

Also, I just decided that I'm going to end each post with the information for our yard sale, in case anyone is interested. (:

Luke 18:22 - "Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven."
Yard Sale - Saturday, July 14th 8 a.m. - 4 p.m.; 5124 Carter Grove Lane, Roanoke, VA 24012
Money made will ALL be donated to either The Rescue Mission, World Vision, Manna Ministries, or the church (or we will take suggestions for any other ministries). Left over items will be donated to both Good Will and Manna Ministries, and also kept to put in Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes this coming October/November. SO EVERYONE SHOULD COME! We're also gonna sell lemonade and some sort of tasty treat, and be playing awesome fun music the whole time!

God's grace and mercy be ever present in your lives, my friends.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Hmmm...

I find it harder and harder to write when I get tired.

Anyway, I worked this morning (11-4) and then I went to graduation to watch some of my babies graduate. (: It was special.

A couple of my friends are coming over soon to stay the night. That should be fun! Even though I have to work in the morning so I won't get to see them for long. :(

Okay so this whole idea of pacifism is really getting to me lately while I'm still reading Jesus For President. Today as one of the graduates, and good friend of mine, gave her speech, she talked a lot about service. And in the middle of that, she said to take a moment to recognize and honor all the people serving in the military and armed forces.

But when you think about that from a biblical standpoint, does it really seem biblical? Armed... Forces... people with guns and weapons of mass destruction out to "defend" our country by killing people living in another country because they're different. That sure doesn't sound like the love of Jesus to me. I'm at a crossroads here. How do I thank someone for being a part of our nations's military? As Christians we are not supposed to pledge allegiance to this country, but to God, to Jesus, to His people. Not the government. Not the military. These people shot guns, fired them at other people. I mean duh, it's radical to say that we should just not fight, but it's radical to people because they don't know anything BUT war. Peace is a foreign concept to many.

I struggle with this because I, myself, am to love everyone. So how do I get from judging the people who do kill other people to simply not killing myself, not supporting "the troops" and making sure my allegiance stays to God and NOT to the United States? My prayer for myself is that I make God my sole focus, that He will give me strength to face each day with the love, grace, and mercy for each person on this planet that He showed for me through His Son Jesus when he slaughtered Him to take away my sins.

People always talk about being "liberal" or "conservative" or "moderate" or other really random things, and often I've tried to describe myself within these constraints to figure out where I stand in the midst of this. But what I'm realizing is that I am nowhere on this scale, because it is OF THE WORLD. I am call to be NOT OF THIS WORLD. In it, not of it.

So yes, by the world's standards, I am liberal because I believe that peace is possible, love is a better option than war, and that we should share all that we own with others who need it or want it.

On that note, I am also conservative by the world's standards, because I believe that it is wrong to get an abortion, wrong to be gay, modest is hottest, cursing is bad, and manners are necessary.

But do you also notice that it seems almost as if "liberals" actually stand FOR something, whereas "conservatives" seem only to stand AGAINST a multitude of things? This is where I believe Jesus was a liberal.

Everyone knows He was a radical guy. He completely altered the course of history and religion and the lives of people as we (they) know (knew) it. But he was not liberal, or conservative. He was perfect. He was Jesus. He was love. A love that broke the chains of politics, and set His people free from the captivity of this world.

This is the God that I serve: One who loves, who provides, who shows graces and mercy and is humble. Not one who pays me, or waves a red, white, and blue flag over my head, or "supports our troops", or strives for power and success.

Jesus For President.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Jesus... Again

Jesus is right.

The world is wrong.

This country has some seriously jacked up views of God/Christianity.

U.S. politics mean nothing in the Kingdom of God.

Killing is wrong, according to the Bible, yes? That includes during warfare.

My God is a God of peace and love and life, not of war and competition and death.

We are called to die. Not to kill.

I've been reading Jesus For President some more today, and it's totally rocking my world.

I would recommend it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Om Nom Nom

I ate a lot today.

Well not really. I just ate at 3 different food joints. Not at home. Of course, I had cookies when I got home. But it's whatever.

My friend Kate and I went to a local restaurant called Jerry's this morning and had coffee and these legendary sausage poofs, which are amazing. And it was great. Then we watched The Proposal because she'd never seen it. I just love that movie. It's so cute.

Then I went to lunch for my cousin's first birthday and had coconut shrimp! Yummy! :D

I can't be certain of exactly what happened after that. I came home, and I ended up taking some sort of nap. But by the time I woke up, I had to leave for church. Then I went and sang with the adult Praise Team, and afterwards I went with my friend Christie to this cute little diner/ice cream shop and we talked and ate. It was good. Because, we hadn't talked in a long time. Yep. Good times.

I came home, and I've been watching  Friends with my mom and my cat ever since.

I need to figure out when I'm working tomorrow. And practice my Prelude.

Block

Sorry. I've been skimping out on this daily blogging thing lately. I've just felt really uninspired, and also really super tired. But I do have a lot going on in my brain. I just can't articulate it all right now. But here's a glimpse:

Still reading Jesus For President and it's still an amazing book. It's making me want to completely re-do my life. Also, we continued the study of James tonight at Launch. Like I said, I've read James before, even memorized it once, but I still keep getting new stuff out of it! What's cool, though, is that what we talked about tonight at Launch only grew the seeds that have been planted in me earlier this summer! It's really cool. Like:

Eyes (lens) of grace, the poor will inherit the Kingdom of God, NOT showing favoritism.

Craziness. I'm just crazy. God is crazy. The Bible is crazy. Jesus is crazy. I want to be crazy FOR Jesus, in a way that's not so cool. But man. Really.

I'm blown away by the awesomeness that is our Creator.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Jesus

I have not written since Thursday, and I apologize. Friday night I spent the night at a friend's, and Saturday I was working and got home and plopped.

So. Here you are.

Friday was splendid. I did not have to work, and I got to go running with Alexa and sister, did another day of Harry Potter workout, and went home. Later I went to my friend Kate's house, whom I have not seen since Christmas break!!! That was also great. And we, as well as two other friends, went downtown and drank coffee and it was lovely. Of course we also went to Walmart to buy cookie dough, chips, and Mountain Dew because we're girls. And we can.

Saturday I worked and went to dinner with my friend Sloan which was nice. We ate at Fork in the Market which I'd never been to (nor have I been to any of the "Forks" actually). I had chili. It was a lovely evening.

Today, however, I went to church and my mom's Sunday School class (which I love, by the way) and then had to go to work. Sunday School was really neat. The lesson was on prayer, and to keep it short today I think the greatest thing I learned that I had never really thought about before is that there are 7 (or so) types of prayer, and the first one that you must engage in in order for God to hear you is confessing your sings to Him. Because sins put up a wall and keep you from God. It was so weird to hear that perspective. But I liked it.

Tonight I went to Baccalaureate at my church for the class of 2012 and played piano for them. It was a really nice service because some of my best friends are graduating and our pastor, whom I'm very familiar with, preached and did a great job as always. He seems to always know just what to say. It's fantastic.

Afterwards we just kind of stood around and talked, and one of my friends, Alyssa, keeps telling me how much she's freaking out about going to college! Which is understandable. I've been kind of trying to keep her calm and give her some pointers on college in general and the first year itself. She said she's made some progress (which I found funny) but that she just isn't ready! Of course, I think she is, because she's brilliant and talented and nice and loves Jesus so she's pretty much set for life. But fear is a funny thing, indeed. Anxiety is, too.

In this season of change and doubt and preparation and fear for so many, I thank God that I can relax in peace knowing that when I come back to school in the fall, things will be familiar. I already know what to expect. I mean yeah, classes are different, but honestly that's the least of my worries. Haha. But not really, I just don't care enough. Well, I do. I'd like to graduate with honors. But it's whatever.