Keep On Dreamin'

Today I was mildly productive. But, productive nonetheless. That is if you consider what I did today productive. Now I can't even remember half of what I did. I'll try and remember.

I woke up late. I feel ashamed for waking up late. It's weird. I've recently been convicted of that by John Wesley. Perhaps I'll write on that at some point in the future.
I ate my cereal and continued reading Acts.
I cleaned my room (vacuum and all. Actually, just vacuum.)
I practiced piano.
I got in contact with several people today regarding our yard sale which is in 3 days!!! I have anywhere from 3-5 people donating more stuff! It's crazy. I got an exercise bike today from a guy I know at church who heard about the sale. People are being really supportive, and it's really great!
I ate pizza and WATERMELON which I have determined to be my FAVORITE FRUIT OF ALL TIME. Yes.
I've been getting kind of frustrated lately, with myself and other people. With myself for a lot of things. I don't pray. I don't trust. My faith feels faint. It's not that I'm struggling with it or doubting it, but I think that's a problem because I'm not DOING anything that requires faith in God. I just have it to have it because it's there and stuff.

The reason I don't think I've been productive today is because I haven't spent time with God. I try to get all this stuff done so I can feel accomplished about myself and about my day, but my life is pointless and meaningless without praising and worshipping and spending time with my awesome God. It sucks, really. I keep saying "I'm gonna try" or whatever, and I do I guess, but I keep avoiding the obvious, the simplest of Christianity concepts because they're the hardest for me to execute. I am of little faith. Let's work on that, shall we?

One thing I did forget today: to play any hymns. At least out of the Worship Hymnal. Whoops!

Today I found out that I like the song "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" by Will Hodge because Eli Young Band recorded it and it's on the radio, but it was less expensive to buy it from the original artist, which is kind of crazy if you think about it.

I need some perspective. I liked the "Keep on dreamin' even if it breaks your heart."

Because, why would I stop dreaming? It's kind of a parallel to faith, I think - to keep having faith ("keep the faith") even when things get rough and you feel broken, because there's a Savior who can make you whole again.

Another thing: I think my life might be "easy" because God doesn't trust me with any big stuff. I haven't been faithful in the little stuff, which is why I'm trying to start over, but I don't feel fulfilled because I'm not being faithful in all that I know I should. Bahhhh. I'm so torn.