No really. Almost all of my friends could tell you. Especially my best friend, Chelsea. ;)
Urgh. I've been challenged with living an authentic life. So, that's what I intend to do. Ironically enough, I've challenged myself to an intentional life, so when I set out to do something, I need to be constantly thinking about ways to do it and get it done and do it well for Jesus, even when it gets hard. Because quitting is not an option.
I mean we're supposed to be like Jesus, right? I know He didn't just toss that ol' cross aside when it got heavy and he got a few splinters in his back and whatnot. NO. HE CARRIED THAT AWFUL CROSS ALL THE WAY. Like, ALL the way. In being like Him, we aren't supposed to quit when things get tough or don't go our way. I'm learning that kind of the hard way. But learning nonetheless.
This is good. I tend to quit when I feel uncomfortable. So I should stop doing that. And stop lying to people. Like pretending that my life is totally fine and I have it all together. HAHAHAHAHA. But really.
So, I'm trying. Pray for me? Thanks. And... I will pray for YOU! Whoever you are. Jesus loves you, and so do I!
Okay it's late. Goodnight.
&
Friday, August 31, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Sacrifice
Yesterday, I was involved in (mostly listening) an interesting conversation that revolved around dreams, marriage, and limiting God. I have to say it was rather exhausting and went in circles a bit, but that's what happens when you put one really determined person with 2 people who really want you to know their opinion (because it's obviously right) and then the innocent by-stander who couldn't get a word in edgewise. It was a good conversation though.
One of the guys has this really huge dream because of how God placed it in his life and he wants to pursue it because through God calling him to it, he fell in love with it. He's very set against marriage because he wants to pursue his dream without being tied down and without having to make sacrifices regarding giving up what he perceives his dream to be. One of the only comments I made was "Well, sacrifice is a basis for Christianity and kind of what it's all about."
Then it got me thinking.
He was very set against not having to give ANYTHING up to satisfy his hunger for a professional career in music. But I think that goes against love and Jesus.
So I asked myself: am I guilty of the same? Am I unwilling to sacrifice of myself to meet the needs of others? And naturally the answer is 'yes' because I am quite selfish, as we all are. However, we do make sacrifices.
These first few weeks of school, for instance, I have had to make and am having to make some pretty hefty sacrifices on behalf of a commitment I made that I am determined to honor because that, I feel, is the right thing to do.
I was given a leadership role at the BCM and was given a list of commitments and basically what I was signing on for. Which is all fine and good. I had no intention of breaking any of these. Then I got my summer job, which was great because I felt I needed a job. Then I agreed that my school is close enough to home that I would commute for the last 2 weekends to work at the pool because I needed the extra money and they needed the extra people.
As it turned out, because I made this commitment over a month ago, I am having to miss the BCM Open House, "the guy's" house-warming start of the semester party, family socials, BCM cook-out, and my piano teacher's first concert of the season. It's kind of a bummer.
But now that I'm thinking back on it, and now that I've completed one day of work out of the total of 4 I had left, I'm realizing that this hurt I feel for having to miss out on all these great school-related things is a part of faith and developing my character and patience. Therefore, I am rejoicing in these sufferings. It's a hard thing to do, but I am - only by the grace and strength of God, Himself.
So if ever you find yourself at the crossroads of sacrifice, remember not to lose heart and be joyful! For the Lord, your God, is with you always and He will never forsake you. He will give you the strength and endurance you need to complete the tasks that He has prepared for you beforehand and He will get you through any burden that comes your way!
Praise Him that He is the wonderful ruler of all the heavens and earth!
&
One of the guys has this really huge dream because of how God placed it in his life and he wants to pursue it because through God calling him to it, he fell in love with it. He's very set against marriage because he wants to pursue his dream without being tied down and without having to make sacrifices regarding giving up what he perceives his dream to be. One of the only comments I made was "Well, sacrifice is a basis for Christianity and kind of what it's all about."
Then it got me thinking.
He was very set against not having to give ANYTHING up to satisfy his hunger for a professional career in music. But I think that goes against love and Jesus.
So I asked myself: am I guilty of the same? Am I unwilling to sacrifice of myself to meet the needs of others? And naturally the answer is 'yes' because I am quite selfish, as we all are. However, we do make sacrifices.
These first few weeks of school, for instance, I have had to make and am having to make some pretty hefty sacrifices on behalf of a commitment I made that I am determined to honor because that, I feel, is the right thing to do.
I was given a leadership role at the BCM and was given a list of commitments and basically what I was signing on for. Which is all fine and good. I had no intention of breaking any of these. Then I got my summer job, which was great because I felt I needed a job. Then I agreed that my school is close enough to home that I would commute for the last 2 weekends to work at the pool because I needed the extra money and they needed the extra people.
As it turned out, because I made this commitment over a month ago, I am having to miss the BCM Open House, "the guy's" house-warming start of the semester party, family socials, BCM cook-out, and my piano teacher's first concert of the season. It's kind of a bummer.
But now that I'm thinking back on it, and now that I've completed one day of work out of the total of 4 I had left, I'm realizing that this hurt I feel for having to miss out on all these great school-related things is a part of faith and developing my character and patience. Therefore, I am rejoicing in these sufferings. It's a hard thing to do, but I am - only by the grace and strength of God, Himself.
So if ever you find yourself at the crossroads of sacrifice, remember not to lose heart and be joyful! For the Lord, your God, is with you always and He will never forsake you. He will give you the strength and endurance you need to complete the tasks that He has prepared for you beforehand and He will get you through any burden that comes your way!
Praise Him that He is the wonderful ruler of all the heavens and earth!
&
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Back in the College Grind
Well my first day back on campus is over! It has been quite a long day, but I must say I could not be more pleased to be back!
I awoke bright and early at 6:15 this morning and got to school at 8, checked in by 8:15, and mom was gone by 8:30. Quite the speedy move-in. Of course, I didn't actually get any of my stuff "moved-in" or organized or set up; I just threw it all in a corner and made a mad dash across campus to help with other people moving in (because I had volunteered beforehand). That was fun because I got to help people and talk to them about Jesus, and I also got to see a TON of friends for the first time in months and it was a beautiful reunion!!
Then came more catching up, lunch, and after that... I did it. I unpacked everything. I set up everything. It's completely crazy that I got it all done in one day. Of course, my (awesome) roommate moves in tomorrow so depending on how she wants to do stuff we may have to move some things around, but that's okay. (: It'll be fun!
Then I went to "game night" at some friends' which didn't last long because we were all exhausted from getting up early and most of us volunteered again for tomorrow to help move people in so we called it an early night. Of course then I went with "the guys" to eat at Cookout but now I'm back in my dorm, showered, tired, and about to hit the hay!
Here's to another great day tomorrow!! :D
&
I awoke bright and early at 6:15 this morning and got to school at 8, checked in by 8:15, and mom was gone by 8:30. Quite the speedy move-in. Of course, I didn't actually get any of my stuff "moved-in" or organized or set up; I just threw it all in a corner and made a mad dash across campus to help with other people moving in (because I had volunteered beforehand). That was fun because I got to help people and talk to them about Jesus, and I also got to see a TON of friends for the first time in months and it was a beautiful reunion!!
Then came more catching up, lunch, and after that... I did it. I unpacked everything. I set up everything. It's completely crazy that I got it all done in one day. Of course, my (awesome) roommate moves in tomorrow so depending on how she wants to do stuff we may have to move some things around, but that's okay. (: It'll be fun!
Then I went to "game night" at some friends' which didn't last long because we were all exhausted from getting up early and most of us volunteered again for tomorrow to help move people in so we called it an early night. Of course then I went with "the guys" to eat at Cookout but now I'm back in my dorm, showered, tired, and about to hit the hay!
Here's to another great day tomorrow!! :D
&
Saturday, August 18, 2012
I Love This Bar
I've been thinking a lot lately about a radical life. One that Jesus could look at and it look familiar to Him, like He was reliving His life on earth. I've been thinking about how to make that my life.
I realize the irony of me typing this out on my Macbook Pro, in the kitchen of my fully-furnished 3 story house, complete with electricity, heat, air, running water, indoor plumbing, etc. But I'm not perfect.
Anyway. There's this country song that comes on the radio, and I don't know if the title is actually "I Love This Bar" but that's the gist of the song.
Anyway, the premise of it is that anyone can come as they are, there's no fee required to get in, and all types of people from all different walks of life come together here. Granted, they are getting drunk and dancing around acting all silly, but that's beside the point.
THE POINT IS that this concept of Mr. Keith's bar is the ideal church. It's his sanctuary. The church should be our sanctuary.
It reminds me of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, because the gypsy (Esmerelda) is trying to run away from those silly racist, judgmental white people who are trying to kill her basically, and when she gets to the cathedral she's legally permitted to claim "sanctuary" so no one can touch her because she's in God's house and He shows no partiality (as it says over and over again in the Bible).
She was discriminated against because of something incredibly trivial, as most of tend to fall victim to at some point or another, and on either end of the persecution. It makes me sad for humanity, but even more sad for Christianity. I mean, aren't we supposed to get like Jesus and show NO partiality?
That's why I like the concept of this song, and the bar. Because our mentality should be toward everyone that we will accept them and love them dearly and meet them wherever they are, so they can "come as they are" just like they can in the presence of Jesus. It's called grace. And we need to practice it. (2 Peter 3:18)
Sorry for all the side-tracking, but it also reminds me about a book I read called Blue Like Jazz and the author submits a combination of an auto-biography and a "Christian nonfiction book" and in part of it he talks about how he spent a month (the month before he was supposed to be speaking at a Christian summer camp) in the woods with a bunch of hippies. That's not an exaggeration either. He didn't shower the whole time, he lived "off the land", he smoked weird things, and he said he was super skeptical of these people at first, but that they were the most accepting and the most loving people he'd ever met. And so when he got to this camp, a girl (who was from Bob Jones University, which if any of you know me you know why that's hilarious) who took one look at him and kind of awkwardly told him he needed to shower and shave. And he was very hippy-fied so he was pretty chill about it. And it was interesting because it's quite true that "Christians" are some of the most hypocritical, judgmental, unloving people there are, and we could learn a pretty big lesson from these "heathens" we so often cringe at the sight of.
Anyway. I'm learning to practice love. And grace. And grow in the knowledge of Jesus. By reading the Bible.
I hope this encourages you, my friends!
&
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Romans 6
Too much to iterate. Like really.
Today I did a lot of things before noon. 'Twas weird.
In between a breakfast appointment and an orthodontist appointment, I parked my little rear end at the library and read/studied the book of Romans and prayed. It was really awesome.
And then I found out that our college worship group was looking at Romans 6 tonight and I was like, "WHAAAT?!" Total God thing.
I wish I had the words to say everything I needed to say, but I have written it down in my notebook. I haven't finished praying about the rest of what I read today, but I would be more than delighted to share with you all the things I've been learning about God and Jesus and prayer and faith!
Side note: I think I've decided that I really really want to start a new "project" of sorts this semester, kind of just for fun -
-So I bought this kinda old 35mm camera for $1 at another yard sale the weekend we had our big Luke 18:22 one, and I've been dying to use it basically just for the heck of it, and for the fun of taking film pictures and getting them developed! I want to do it with a purpose, though. Since I do still own a digital camera and can, if necessary, use it to take snapshots of my everyday life, I want to embark on a film adventure while at school! I just have no idea what to base it on, and I do want it to have a purpose...
I am absolutely open to suggestion! Though I am thinking along the lines of something similar to a 365, except not that really at all. Haha that made no sense. I want it to be something that reflects more than just photos, you know? But also more than my life. Something deeper and beyond that. Don't get me wrong, I do want it to be representative of my life and the journeys I take between August and December (for fall semester), but I don't know where to take it. I am by NO MEANS a photographer. I do like pictures, and pretty things, and admiring God's creation, and I enjoy taking pictures to capture memories, but I'm no pro like some of my friends.
By the same token, I've also been challenged to live a life away from the camera - to not have to document my life for the world to see, but just to savor experiences and cherish what God does to make everything so awesome. So I'm torn. It's not like I would carry this little film camera around everywhere, because there are only so many pictures on the roll of film. But I think I'm going to explore and pray and see where God might take this. Because I really do want to do it for fun, but more than anything I want to glorify Him with it.
We shall see where this goes!
Until then, keep the faith my friends!
&
Today I did a lot of things before noon. 'Twas weird.
In between a breakfast appointment and an orthodontist appointment, I parked my little rear end at the library and read/studied the book of Romans and prayed. It was really awesome.
And then I found out that our college worship group was looking at Romans 6 tonight and I was like, "WHAAAT?!" Total God thing.
I wish I had the words to say everything I needed to say, but I have written it down in my notebook. I haven't finished praying about the rest of what I read today, but I would be more than delighted to share with you all the things I've been learning about God and Jesus and prayer and faith!
Side note: I think I've decided that I really really want to start a new "project" of sorts this semester, kind of just for fun -
-So I bought this kinda old 35mm camera for $1 at another yard sale the weekend we had our big Luke 18:22 one, and I've been dying to use it basically just for the heck of it, and for the fun of taking film pictures and getting them developed! I want to do it with a purpose, though. Since I do still own a digital camera and can, if necessary, use it to take snapshots of my everyday life, I want to embark on a film adventure while at school! I just have no idea what to base it on, and I do want it to have a purpose...
I am absolutely open to suggestion! Though I am thinking along the lines of something similar to a 365, except not that really at all. Haha that made no sense. I want it to be something that reflects more than just photos, you know? But also more than my life. Something deeper and beyond that. Don't get me wrong, I do want it to be representative of my life and the journeys I take between August and December (for fall semester), but I don't know where to take it. I am by NO MEANS a photographer. I do like pictures, and pretty things, and admiring God's creation, and I enjoy taking pictures to capture memories, but I'm no pro like some of my friends.
By the same token, I've also been challenged to live a life away from the camera - to not have to document my life for the world to see, but just to savor experiences and cherish what God does to make everything so awesome. So I'm torn. It's not like I would carry this little film camera around everywhere, because there are only so many pictures on the roll of film. But I think I'm going to explore and pray and see where God might take this. Because I really do want to do it for fun, but more than anything I want to glorify Him with it.
We shall see where this goes!
Until then, keep the faith my friends!
&
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Dance Moms
I watch too much television.
I don't pray enough.
I make bracelets instead of reading the Bible.
Hmm.
School starts in 2.5 weeks, and I move in in less than 2. CRAZY.
I've got to make some changes.
Something's gotta give.
Game on.
Hebrews 4:16
I don't pray enough.
I make bracelets instead of reading the Bible.
Hmm.
School starts in 2.5 weeks, and I move in in less than 2. CRAZY.
I've got to make some changes.
Something's gotta give.
Game on.
Hebrews 4:16
Monday, August 6, 2012
Two Things:
You know, people always talk about how “perfect” it is to “not have a cloud in the sky” but personally I disagree. I think clouds are wonderful. They’re beautiful. They’re captivating. They are pure designs of God’s creativity and great mystery.
I love that God, through nature, has the ability (and the sense of humor) to take one person’s rain cloud and give someone else a pretty post-card picture. The wonder, mystery, and beauty of Him who made everything never ceases to amaze me. And I am ever-so thankful.
And another thing - I really enjoy this song: He Will Carry Me by Mark Schultz.
It's been a great day. I am thankful for so many things. Too many to be named, but all heard by God in the depths of my heart. He is so good.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Leviticus is Gnarly on a Full Stomach
It's true.
I've almost finished Leviticus, actually. I'm trying to read the whole Bible. I just hope I stick it out until the end. Haha. But today I heard a verse that said to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord, Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:18) and I was like... okay, yeah, that means read the Bible. Got it. Yes. So I'm excited about this adventure.
Tonight I got to spend some time with my dear, dear friend Lindsey who just got back from Africa and is about to go to Kentucky! Such a world traveler. I love catching up with people and especially hear about how God has been working in them and changing their lives. It's so so cool!
Last night I went to dinner for a friend of mine's birthday and afterwards went to someone's house and had a bonfire/played Catchphrase for HOURS! It was super fun and I still smell like smoke. I really just love my friends, old and new.
The night before I went and babysat in B-burg and I was terrified to drive there by myself in RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC! No fun. But I obviously made it in once piece. Got paid pretty well and hung out with my long lost best school friend TRAVIS! Which was great.
Life is good, and I really can't complain. Honestly, I'm struggling with my faith because God is pulling at me to grow and I'm still stuck on earth and resisting, but I'm growing in prayer and in my love for people and His Word so I'm liking where I'm headed right now. I know I'll never be perfect, and will always fall short, but THANK GOD for grace and love and mercy. I want it to consume me forever and ever and I want to jovially spread it to the world! One act of kindness and Jesus-love at a time. (:
&
I've almost finished Leviticus, actually. I'm trying to read the whole Bible. I just hope I stick it out until the end. Haha. But today I heard a verse that said to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord, Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:18) and I was like... okay, yeah, that means read the Bible. Got it. Yes. So I'm excited about this adventure.
Tonight I got to spend some time with my dear, dear friend Lindsey who just got back from Africa and is about to go to Kentucky! Such a world traveler. I love catching up with people and especially hear about how God has been working in them and changing their lives. It's so so cool!
Last night I went to dinner for a friend of mine's birthday and afterwards went to someone's house and had a bonfire/played Catchphrase for HOURS! It was super fun and I still smell like smoke. I really just love my friends, old and new.
The night before I went and babysat in B-burg and I was terrified to drive there by myself in RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC! No fun. But I obviously made it in once piece. Got paid pretty well and hung out with my long lost best school friend TRAVIS! Which was great.
Life is good, and I really can't complain. Honestly, I'm struggling with my faith because God is pulling at me to grow and I'm still stuck on earth and resisting, but I'm growing in prayer and in my love for people and His Word so I'm liking where I'm headed right now. I know I'll never be perfect, and will always fall short, but THANK GOD for grace and love and mercy. I want it to consume me forever and ever and I want to jovially spread it to the world! One act of kindness and Jesus-love at a time. (:
&
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
God is Crazy Awesome.
And for now I'm just going to have to leave it at that. We had a lot of intimate time together today, but I'm so exhausted that I hardly think I can type a coherent sentence. So, until next time!
& (I just really like this symbol; it also helps me imply that this is not the end, and there will always be a next time.)
& (I just really like this symbol; it also helps me imply that this is not the end, and there will always be a next time.)
Happy August 1st!
Today might be a day that I blog twice... Maybe.
Because, I'm doing it now, 35 minutes into the day, which is actually still yesterday's night because I have yet to sleep. Okay.
I am praying for a renewing of my mind and heart and spirit. God is providing. I just yearn for a love that never fails, and my heart is rediscovering its passion that is the Christ, Jesus. Later today, I will be hanging out with a dear, dear friend of mine who always encourages me and spurs me on, whether she knows it or not. I have this desire to be in fellowship with believers who build me up and hold me accountable to Christ. I'm looking forward to growing my relationship with God alongside my sister in Christ.
I want a heart that will continually sing praises and rejoice to God for He is SO GOOD!
Lord, let my heart be on fire for You; let me burn with the passion to love as You have loved; to give as You have given; to embrace the eternity that has been set upon my heart and spread Your Gospel of Truth like a wildfire!
*26 days until the start of the semester. PUMPED!
Because, I'm doing it now, 35 minutes into the day, which is actually still yesterday's night because I have yet to sleep. Okay.
I am praying for a renewing of my mind and heart and spirit. God is providing. I just yearn for a love that never fails, and my heart is rediscovering its passion that is the Christ, Jesus. Later today, I will be hanging out with a dear, dear friend of mine who always encourages me and spurs me on, whether she knows it or not. I have this desire to be in fellowship with believers who build me up and hold me accountable to Christ. I'm looking forward to growing my relationship with God alongside my sister in Christ.
I want a heart that will continually sing praises and rejoice to God for He is SO GOOD!
Lord, let my heart be on fire for You; let me burn with the passion to love as You have loved; to give as You have given; to embrace the eternity that has been set upon my heart and spread Your Gospel of Truth like a wildfire!
*26 days until the start of the semester. PUMPED!
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