But I think I'm just tired.

There's a lot going on in my brain right now. And in my heart. And with my spirit. Granted, I think a lot of the overwhelmed-ness I'm feeling right now is due to the fact that I desperately need a nap and to get 8+ hours of sleep one of these nights (PRAYING TONIGHT, YEAH!).

I've been trying to be intentional about the way I act. And about what I say - to curb my sarcasm and make sure everything I say is either useful, helpful, thoughtful, encouraging, kind, and/or necessary. I told this to my piano teacher today because I wanted to get some advice/prayer support. I told her I was trying not to be as sarcastic because I'm realizing the effect of my words and actions, especially when it comes to interacting with my friends who don't have a deep relationship with Jesus.

And you know, I really wasn't satisfied with her answer. Although she did talk about useful things I enjoyed what she said but when it came to answering my "question" I have to say I'm still restless about it. She kind of told me "it's okay that you're a little sarcastic, you just have to make sure it isn't at anybody's expense" which I agree with. However, I guess what I'm more focused on is the condition of my heart which I had a really hard time conveying to her so I don't think she actually understood what I meant.

I want to get to a place where I'm both bold about Jesus, and so humbled and in the background that people don't even see me, but Jesus shining through me. It's a rough place to get. I also realize that I can only get there by actively pursuing my relationship with God - quiet times are a struggle. I'm over-committed. But I'm also not sacrificing my life to God yet, so that's been interesting too. I say that I am, but there are still shreds that I'm holding on to. I don't know what, specifically, but I can feel that I am.

I do have a peace that passes all understanding and I love it because I can have joy and be content even while being upset or sad or happy or excited or worried (which actually goes away after accepting the peace). BAHHH!

So much is happening in my brain.

All right. Jesus is the Man. God is good. All the time. I love Him. And you.

Peace out.

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