The Year In Review

In 10 days, I will be going home and leaving behind my first year of college. That isn't to say that I'm forgetting it, but that it will be over; I survived and made lots of friends and lots more memories.

This year I learned a lot about what it means to have an eternal perspective. Truth be told, I think I've had one for a while, but I didn't let it affect my whole life, and it wasn't really translating into the way I acted or the way I talked to people or the way I lived my life. Now it's like, I just wanna go to Heaven, to praise God and do nothing else except party with Jesus and bask in their awesomeness.

I had a really interesting discussion last night about the word "awesome". It's one I've had before, but still interesting. Dissecting words is really fun for me!

But anyway, I'm currently having this realization. And I have a lot of pent up anxiety in my chest right now, so I figured I'd go with it and try to write before I pass out.

I'm all about new stages of life, gaining knowledge and wisdom, growing, maturing, loving people and making the most of the time we're allotted on earth. But right now I'm being scared of change. I mean, I've always hated change, but this time it's slightly different, maybe.

I graduated from high school last year. Now, a freshman in college, I'm watching seniors graduate from here, seemingly with many of the same feelings I had about this time last year. I am so looking forward to this summer and getting to hang out with amazing friends, and I'll also be excited to start a new semester as a sophomore in the fall! But the thing is, is that really important people (graduating seniors) in my life are going to cease to exist in my realm of correspondence when school rolls around next fall. This is a change I'm uneasy about. For whatever reason, I am not coping with it well, and I need to ask God to heal me of that and curb the anxiety I feel toward losing a dear friend. Jesus is the only friend I truly need, and since He will never leave or change, I should be content in that.

I suppose that is my prayer and my hope. For myself, and for the graduating seniors who are closing a really long, detailed chapter of their lives with God being, potentially, the only constant. Holding steadfastly to Him will never fail us, and I pray that I can live out that kind of mentality. Do everything for the glory of God.

There's a song called "Where I Belong" by Switchfoot, and one of the lines says, "I'm not sentimental; this skin and bones is a rental and no one makes it out alive." I agree with this. But tonight, I've felt heavily sentimental. I want to cherish the time, but I need to learn to also let go and be content in my wonderful memories and many valuable life lessons and spiritual growing.

Man, God is awesome. He's been blessing me with some incredible people, role models, friends, mentors, everything! I'm so excited for His Kingdom. (:

Where I Belong by: Switchfoot