I can't quite decide if I mean that literally, or not.
It's not that this weekend has been awful in and of itself.
But my uncle died. Don't worry, we weren't close. But it's sad. My family is sad.
A woman named Melissa died a few days ago from esophageal and stomach cancer. She used to work at the BCM here and touched a lot of the lives of the people who are touching my life. I'll meet Melissa one day, when I get to heaven too.
My friend, Troy, died this afternoon. He went to William & Mary. We graduated together. He was top of the class - smartest person I knew. Kind. Funny. I don't know whether or not he was a believer in Christ. I don't actually think he was. And now, now that there's nothing left to do about it, I blame myself for not showing that love to him and sharing the Gospel with him. Would it have made a difference?
There are many a heavy heart tonight, all around Virginia and the country for Troy's soul; for Melissa's soul; for my uncle's soul.
My best friend is really upset. What are we supposed to say to each other? I think sometimes it's okay to just cry, and sit on the phone in silence. It's hard being 11 hours apart. It's harder when things like this happen.
I choose to maintain joy in the Lord. I am sad, and mourning. I'm confused and tattered and torn. But God is bigger than all of that. It's going to be a rough week. I should finish writing my paper. But alas, I cannot focus.
I am currently listening to NEEDTOBREATHE's album, The Reckoning, and I like it.
Twitter is sending me updates to my phone quite slowly. But I don't care.
I think this is hell and satan's way of trying to get at me. At us. I won't let him. I won't let it. God is bigger. God is greater.
To look at the upsides of the weekend: I spent it with new friends whom I have come to truly love and adore as women in Christ. I got to turn pages for one of my piano heroes at a concert on Friday night (and she paid me in chocolate). I got to have dinner with an old teacher, now good friend. I got to see a close friend whom I left behind when I came to college. She and another great friend (whom I may possibly be rooming with next year) both made All-State choir! I'll get 3 punches on my convo card this week for the concerts I attended.
God is good. He always was. He always is. He still is.
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