Liberation!

Let go, and let God.

I learned this very important lesson this weekend. As much as I try to hold on to everything I have in this world, to be self-sufficient, to strive for worldly perfection, none of it matters when you realize that everything belongs to God, and this world is temporary.

I got an eternal perspective.

When I graduate from college in 4 (or 5) years, it's not going to matter that I got a 60 on my calculus test last week. I'm not going to remember how bad it felt when I didn't practice enough and Dr. Cowden was disappointed in me for a day. I won't have kept track of how many chocolate muffins I ate, how many cups of coffee I drank, how many times I used the word tired, the number of nights I only got 4 hours of sleep, or the times I skipped out on homework to get at least 6 hours of sleep.

Our life on earth is a vapor. Cliche, I know, but it's true. I like cliche things. I've probably said that before. That isn't the point.

If I live to be 90 years old, people will say I lived a great long life. Whoop-dee-doo. I'd rather my soul live in heaven for a day than spend a thousand years on this earth! The things I do are to be glorifying to God, not self-seeking. I only want that good grade for me, not for God. If it's more important that I stay awake with my upset friend than go to sleep, then I will neglect my needs for hers. For the glory of God.

If buying someone lunch means I skip a meal, then I will. For the glory of God. (That's nothing on 30 Hour Famine anyway).

If giving up my seat on the bus means I have to stand and hold the bars the whole way, then I'll do it. For the glory of God.

After experiencing God's presence this weekend, in my life and just in everywhere I looked, He grabbed me and told me that He loved me. He's going to take care of me. College is hard; life is hard. He's got it under control, even though I never will.

I feel completely liberated that I can give Him all my struggles, my worries, my fears, and my doubts, but also praise Him for hope and joy and peace, and glorify Him for everything (good and bad) in my life, because I know He's working it all out for His plan and His purpose.

Sometimes I feel like having faith in God, or the concept of God in general, is like running yourself into a circle. There are split-seconds of days when I become overwhelmed by it and get discouraged. All it takes is a step back, a little perspective, and realizing that we live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7), which is a hard concept, especially for someone like me who likes to have things logically laid out in front of her.

But it's true. It's real. It's infinite. It's God.

I felt a heavy burden taken off of my in this last couple of days, and it is the greatest I've felt in a long time. I still have just as much work, get just as little sleep, am just as tired as before, but I rest in God's peace that He has everything under control, and that as long as I stay faithful to Him, sleep-deprived and all, He will always provide for me and I don't have to worry about a thing.

Side note: while I praise God for the seasons of life, of the year, I'm really spiteful of cold weather. And the crazy weather in Blacksburg. So, here's to bundling up from now until March--Happy November!

I don't have a song for right now. I'm tired. And it's 2:42 a.m. If I come up with one, I'll make the revision, so until then my friends!