Well, after officially being declared a high school graduate, and getting my very own diploma with my name on it and EVERYTHING, and of course changing plans from 7 parties to 9 parties and a trip to get ice cream, I feel kind of...weird.
I mean clearly the class of 2011 has a lot of feelings, but what are these feelings exactly? Eh, I don't know. Some of everything, I guess.
It's weird, you know? I got to wear that cap and gown, and the stole and the medals and the cords for one day, 2 hours no less, and then it was time to put it all away. Then just like that, I had turned the page and closed a chapter in my life. It's been hard to put it in perspective, I guess.
I heard something today, though, that helped me put things in place a little bit better: "Life's like a book. You don't read the same chapter over and over again, do you? No. You read on to see what's going to happen next. It's the same with your life's story."
Now, I've gotten the book/chapter analogy many, many times before but this particular one seemed to click with me. I liked it. Plus last night at youth we talked about "industriousness" and how its key components are hard work and planning. I'm still working toward the ultimate goal that is to serve the Lord, further His kingdom, and spend eternal life in heaven, and also planning my life for the glory of God and accepting His will when my plans change because He has something better in mind. I'm trying to grow this summer. A lot, actually.
I'd like to get a summer job, though I'm not sure if it's going to work out. I learned to play the guitar 3 days ago, and apparently for only knowing it a few days, I'm really very good and caught on quickly. Becoming great is one of my goals this summer. Learning 4 new songs on the piano this summer is another. I also would like to finish memorizing the book of James, study Revelation, read the Gospels, read all 7 Harry Potters (less of a priority, of course), and keep a journal. There are other small things, but these are some of the things I'd like to do with my time in order to bring God glory, and start moving on with my life.
I wrote a letter to my very best friend. Writing letters and/or cards is what I do when things in my life come to and end, especially at the end of school years. She told me that she read the first few lines, and couldn't do it. Somehow, even though I've always been the one who freaks out about being separated and going to college and enduring all these changes, her saying that to me made me begin to move on. I finally got her to read it last night. I think we both needed closure, and that's helping us deal, but we don't leave for college for another 2 months! I'm trying to focus on what God wants me to do, but it's just been really hard. What do you do without your best friend? How do you 'start over' when you've shaken your vulnerability and your invisible wall keeps you from making new friends?
High school has been one of the best rides of my life. I've been told that college changes all of that, and easily becomes the best one. At this point, I'm refusing to believe it. I'm not resisting it, but I high school has been amazing. I sincerely hope that college tops it, but right now I can't imagine a better experience that my last 4 years. God can, though, and that's what I have to hold on to.
Song of the moment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysrIY84Ubmc
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