Merrily Rolling Along

Or something like that.

I know I don't write a lot, and I think part of it is because I don't think I have much to say, but also that I don't have a lot of time. And I should probably doing one of two things right now that isn't this: sleeping, or reading and praying over Scripture. Both things I will do once I finish writing.

Dude life is crazy. Awesome, in fact, but also crazy. If I could explain it to you, I would. I'll try.

This past weekend I went to SEBTS (Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) in Wake Forest for 20/20 Conference where the theme was Gospel and Mission and I had my mind blown a few times. It was pretty cool. One of my favorite little sessions, though, was one called "The Arts and the Mission of God." Dude. I can't even being to explain it. I'll probably dedicate an entire separate post to it because it seriously rocked my world.

It was good. Also, I'm realizing the beauty and depth and authenticity of God's love lately. Not that I've ever not known about it or that it was there and real, but just that I'm starting to see it and grasp it more. I have 2 friends, both very close to me, who are struggling with realizing God's love and understanding its vastness and the fact that it has no conditions. Part of that was going to this conference, but I was thinking about it before that as well. God's been completely amazing lately. I mean, He always is, but He's been working in such a way that I've been able to see it so plainly and connect all (well, from my point of view) the dots. I go from one thing to another, learning and experiencing all kinds of things, and then from Kairos to 6:33 to Bible study to 20/20 conference to Skype conversations to lunch dates, I learn something from one aspect that applies to another, or I encounter a situation where I don't fully grasp it or understand how to respond or react, and then another area has the answer. It's been so plain.

Don't get me wrong, though. I've seen God work in my life, well, my whole life. Looking back, that is. I obviously don't remember being an infant. It gives me so much hope. Like, how could I ever doubt God again? Is He not always faithful? Is He not always with us? Does He not always love us regardless of the FACT that we do NOT deserve it? Because when I look back, I remember times when I was angry with God and felt terrible and wanted to end my life and hated everything based on what now seem like trivial circumstances. I remember these times, and I remember that God delivered me. Even though I was not always faithful. I'm still not. I will always strive to be, but I won't measure up. I am so thankful for grace. I cannot say that enough, truly. I look back on my life and see what God was doing and why, and am beginning to understand why it was necessary. Now all I want to do is to bring Him glory no matter what I'm doing, even if it hurts and things don't go my way or life gets uncomfortable.

Take into account: I say all this, and yet I have not been persecuted for the sake of Christ. I have not been put into a situation where my faith was the only thing I had. That scares me. How real is my faith, then? I'm not necessarily suggesting that I need to set myself up to be in danger or to get hurt or to be let down or scared or in trouble or to be persecuted. But then again, I kind of am.

I've got a lot to think about, y'all. I wanna do something that grows God's Kingdom. Lately I've been entertaining the idea of going to a country that hasn't heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know how, and I don't know what the heck I would do, but that's the ultimate goal: to win people's souls for Christ, including our own; living as Christ did.

Didn't mean to unload all that, but that's what happens sometimes.

In other news, I have made significant progress in my fitness routine and progressively more healthy lifestyle. Woop woop! I did stay up too late last night, though. Then had lots of coffee today. Then worked out and felt awful. Then saw Les Miserables for the 3rd time. Holler at free popcorn Mondays at the Lyric.

My prayer for you is Ephesians 3:17-19, "that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

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