I just think kids are the neatest. I'm obsessed with kids, and though I know of several who do NOT share my sentiments in the slightest, and if I could spend all day with them I would.
Babysitting has always been one of my favorite things to do, as far as making money. It was my first "real job" at the age of 13, and I never really stopped doing it. There are so many interesting things that go into it, and no kid or family or house is ever the same.
But you knew that.
They're so cool, though. One of my favorite kids is named Emma. She's 7 going on about 25. She's brilliant and I love it. But she's still a kid, ya know? Obviously, she's in elementary school, but she's at an age where she has a VERY defined personality, and it never ceases to blow me away. I've spent so much time with her that I hardly feel like the babysitter any more. I feel more like her sister or something. I even adore her parents.
What has recently struck me, though, is that kids at the age of like 4 or 5 to about 8 or 9 can be pretty skeptical about new people. When they first meet you, they're super shy and awkward because they don't know you and they're trying to do 2 things: they want to see how interactive you get with them, and they want to test you to see how much they can get away with. It's a simple fact of life.
So sometimes they won't talk. And even though they have to get used to you, you have to get used to them. But man once you do, they have some of the funniest things to say, and some of the most interesting insights you'll ever hear. Because they have a very limited filter and have only just begun to develop social skills.
This girl can talk my ear off about "highly intellectual" things (which in all honesty I have no clue about sometimes), and then go straight from that to being incredibly silly and laughing her head off, and then to being sweet as she can be, all the way back to running around being crazy again!
Tonight I got the chance to babysit two kids whose parents I'd never met before, but they were in my Campus Minister's small group, so I figured they'd be nice, and of course they were. Their kids were 3 years old and I think 11 months or so. THEY WERE PRECIOUS. I was with them for a short amount of time, but I got play with trains with the 3-year-old boy who could talk forever if I'd let him. He seemed pretty emotionally stable for a child, although that was probably just the day. And then the little girl - good grief she was all over the place! In the cutest way possible, all she wanted to do was CRAWL and never stop! She was so smiley and kept clapping which was adorable. She did have a tendency to get into everything, though, and when she got in it she would put whatever it was in her mouth. Including my hair. And necklace. And glasses. BUT SHE WAS SO CUTE (and I didn't have to change her diaper, which is always a plus). No tears, no injuries, no tantrums, no dirty diapers - I am a happy babysitter!
One of my favorite things about watching kids is that everything they do is unexpected. You have to be on your toes, and HIGHLY caffeinated (which I was, luckily). It's the one area in my life where I'm not lazy (because I CAN'T be!). Every age of kid is something different, and it's so much fun for me to figure out those different stages of life, meet them there, and roll with it. In the last week I've interacted with crawling babies, semi-talking toddlers, significantly more worded toddlers, elementary school kids, and middle schoolers (not to mention those crazy college kids). It's a blast. I almost feel as though I should rethink my career path... Alas, I do still want to teach middle school math.
I just think kids are hilarious. They require a lot of attention and energy, but we have SO much to learn from them.
&
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Reading Between the Lines
I think that title is clever.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot recently about people. I've always liked to psychoanalyze people (including myself) because I like to be able to know what's going on with them. I like figuring things out - this includes people, naturally. I've always been pretty good at noticing things about people, like when they're hiding something. More specifically when they're hiding their emotions. I'm decent at reading people. It's a fun game for me!
Of course on the other hand, I've been psychoanalyzing myself since I was about 14. A lot goes through my head at once, and since I forget to write things down, I just keep thinking more and more until, well, I've thunk myself in a circle.
With all of this, I was thinking about the beauty of people - God's greatest creation. Don't believe me? Read up on Genesis for yourself, and then try and tell me that God didn't value His creation of us over all the other things! He did save the best for last, because we were the ones made in His image - made for an intimate relationship with Him. People are beautiful.
I came across an article and video from Dove about beauty today. And how we're really hard on ourselves, whereas others tend to see the best in us when it's solely based on our appearance. Perception plays a huge part in what we define as beauty.
Here's the thing: yeah I've had moments of self-consciousness, but I've never truly struggled with having a negative body image. Like most girls, I do have my days, but in the end I never let those very temporary feelings of physical inadequacy drive my decisions or actions.
I love knowing that everything beautiful has the potential to reflect God's beauty. This, again, depends on perception I think. I can look at a really pretty landscape painting, and marvel at how beautifully it captures the vastness and mystery of God's creation, whereas another viewer may simply look at it with no regard to our Creator. From my point of view, everything beautiful brings God glory. Every human IS beautiful, and has the potential to bring God glory. Which is so, so cool!
Anyway, I was looking at someone's face on Facebook today (I know, weird right?!) and it was someone I didn't know - a friend-of-a-friend. She made a comment to another friend of mine who has her 40th birthday this week (or what I like to call her second 20th birthday). She said, "I would love to be 40 again... You should stretch it out! It's a GOOD decade!" Which I thought was interesting. Then I went to her page to see what she looked like (because I'm easily side-tracked). I would assume she's in her late 50's/60's. And I was looking at this picture of her, and I mean yeah certain facial and other physical features tend to give away our ages, but I saw another picture of her...
In this picture, I looked at it and had a pretty easy time telling her age (ish). But what really struck me were her eyes. They honestly looked as though they hadn't aged since she was 18. I covered up the rest of her face with my hand on the screen, and what I saw were beautiful eyes that looked as energetic and alive as I'm sure they've ever been - as if by looking into her very being, she were still young at heart.
This sounds pretty cliche, but I think it's cool. We can really be so critical, especially when we use our stage of life as an excuse as to why we look a certain way. But if we learn how to read between the lines - the wrinkles, the dark circles, the gray, the weight - I think that's when we can accept that our true beauty does in fact come from within, and when we embrace that and let it, it shines through to our outsides as well.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm fascinated with all stages of life. They're all beautiful! So stop coming up with excuses as to why you don't measure up, and quit comparing yourself to others who just happen to have different insecurities than you! You are fearfully and wonderfully made, from the inside out, by an Almighty God who loves you more than you will EVER be able to grasp or know.
"So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot recently about people. I've always liked to psychoanalyze people (including myself) because I like to be able to know what's going on with them. I like figuring things out - this includes people, naturally. I've always been pretty good at noticing things about people, like when they're hiding something. More specifically when they're hiding their emotions. I'm decent at reading people. It's a fun game for me!
Of course on the other hand, I've been psychoanalyzing myself since I was about 14. A lot goes through my head at once, and since I forget to write things down, I just keep thinking more and more until, well, I've thunk myself in a circle.
With all of this, I was thinking about the beauty of people - God's greatest creation. Don't believe me? Read up on Genesis for yourself, and then try and tell me that God didn't value His creation of us over all the other things! He did save the best for last, because we were the ones made in His image - made for an intimate relationship with Him. People are beautiful.
I came across an article and video from Dove about beauty today. And how we're really hard on ourselves, whereas others tend to see the best in us when it's solely based on our appearance. Perception plays a huge part in what we define as beauty.
Here's the thing: yeah I've had moments of self-consciousness, but I've never truly struggled with having a negative body image. Like most girls, I do have my days, but in the end I never let those very temporary feelings of physical inadequacy drive my decisions or actions.
I love knowing that everything beautiful has the potential to reflect God's beauty. This, again, depends on perception I think. I can look at a really pretty landscape painting, and marvel at how beautifully it captures the vastness and mystery of God's creation, whereas another viewer may simply look at it with no regard to our Creator. From my point of view, everything beautiful brings God glory. Every human IS beautiful, and has the potential to bring God glory. Which is so, so cool!
Anyway, I was looking at someone's face on Facebook today (I know, weird right?!) and it was someone I didn't know - a friend-of-a-friend. She made a comment to another friend of mine who has her 40th birthday this week (or what I like to call her second 20th birthday). She said, "I would love to be 40 again... You should stretch it out! It's a GOOD decade!" Which I thought was interesting. Then I went to her page to see what she looked like (because I'm easily side-tracked). I would assume she's in her late 50's/60's. And I was looking at this picture of her, and I mean yeah certain facial and other physical features tend to give away our ages, but I saw another picture of her...
In this picture, I looked at it and had a pretty easy time telling her age (ish). But what really struck me were her eyes. They honestly looked as though they hadn't aged since she was 18. I covered up the rest of her face with my hand on the screen, and what I saw were beautiful eyes that looked as energetic and alive as I'm sure they've ever been - as if by looking into her very being, she were still young at heart.
This sounds pretty cliche, but I think it's cool. We can really be so critical, especially when we use our stage of life as an excuse as to why we look a certain way. But if we learn how to read between the lines - the wrinkles, the dark circles, the gray, the weight - I think that's when we can accept that our true beauty does in fact come from within, and when we embrace that and let it, it shines through to our outsides as well.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm fascinated with all stages of life. They're all beautiful! So stop coming up with excuses as to why you don't measure up, and quit comparing yourself to others who just happen to have different insecurities than you! You are fearfully and wonderfully made, from the inside out, by an Almighty God who loves you more than you will EVER be able to grasp or know.
"So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the
earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and
all the animals that scurry along the ground.”
Then God said, “Look! I have given you every seed-bearing plant
throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. And I have
given every green plant as food for all the wild animals, the birds in the sky,
and the small animals that scurry along the ground—everything that has life.”
And that is what happened.
Then
God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And
evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day."
Genesis 1:27-31
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Here's My Heart, Lord
This weekend I had the opportunity to travel "home" to chaperone a Disciple NOW youth retreat at my church, and also get the chance to lead worship through music with the band. It never fails that a message meant for middle/high schoolers hits home with me more than anything. I always go in expecting to teach, but come out learning more than I thought was possible. This weekend we reflected on what it meant to Pause and rest in Christ. That rest is not mindless activities in front of our many screens, but that true REST was an active participation in a real and growing relationship with Christ, cultivated by persistence and consistence in prayer, reading and applying Scripture, and being in community and outreach with other believers.
I feel myself breaking. I'm weak. But I boast in my weakness because I know that in my weakness HE IS stronger. I am humbled and unworthy. I need God's never-ending grace.
This song was our anthem.
Here's My Heart Lord - David Crowder, Passion 2013
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
'Cause I am found. I am Yours.
I am loved. I'm made pure.
I have life. I can breathe.
I am healed. I am free.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
'Cause You are strong. You are sure.
You are life. You endure.
You are good, always true.
You are light breaking through.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
You are more than enough.
You are here. You are love.
You are hope. You are grace.
You're all I have. You're everything.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
Speak what is true.
Speak what is true.
I feel myself breaking. I'm weak. But I boast in my weakness because I know that in my weakness HE IS stronger. I am humbled and unworthy. I need God's never-ending grace.
This song was our anthem.
Here's My Heart Lord - David Crowder, Passion 2013
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
'Cause I am found. I am Yours.
I am loved. I'm made pure.
I have life. I can breathe.
I am healed. I am free.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
'Cause You are strong. You are sure.
You are life. You endure.
You are good, always true.
You are light breaking through.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
You are more than enough.
You are here. You are love.
You are hope. You are grace.
You're all I have. You're everything.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Here's my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
Speak what is true.
Speak what is true.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Life's Good
I'm going to write soon. Really this time. Not that anyone really cares. Haha. But it'll happen. Stay tuned!
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has set eternity on their hearts except that no one can know what God does from beginning to end."
Ecclesiastes 3:11
&
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has set eternity on their hearts except that no one can know what God does from beginning to end."
Ecclesiastes 3:11
&
Monday, March 18, 2013
I Have Not Disappeared
This is a blog post as information that I have not, in fact, disappeared, only been lacking in time and things to say and ways to arrange and organize my thoughts into writing. Hopefully that will change soon. Be on the look out for my ramblings very soon.
Also, I would like the world to know that Travis Whaley is an awesome individual.
&
Also, I would like the world to know that Travis Whaley is an awesome individual.
&
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Perusings of the Weekend
Well. This has been an awful weekend. And I hate complaining, so that's why I do it here, so only 6 people have to hear. (:
I've been doing Proofs all weekend. I've been lazy, though, and haven't been able to complete a single assignment. I turned pages for a concert last night, and again for one this afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I love doing that. I just hate never having time to do anything.
I'm also getting sick and have way too much to do to be getting sick.
Whatever. I'm also missing my best friend. I feel pretty lonely. This is a season of growth for me. I know that God wants me to be satisfied only in Him, but He also designed us for community with one another. However, there is a fine line especially in my human brain. So I'm struggling. But God is good and faithful, so it'll be okay.
I'm also just kind of frustrated with the current state of my brain.
I love college. I love music. I like math. I want to teach. I want to tell people about Jesus. I want to keep being friends with all my friends. I'm kind of being a pessimist, but I'm really trying not to be! I'm thinking ahead way too much but it just seems like everything is moving so so so fast! This is my last semester that I'm taking more music classes than math classes, and it's so much fun. Except my one math class that isn't even math (proofs/logic) is taking up ALL MY TIME so I can't do anything else and have no time to practice piano. I seriously hate it.
I especially hate that once I graduate in less than 5 semesters, I won't be doing music so much any more. I'm sad because I really love it. And soon it'll be over.
What's the most unfortunate I think is my friends. I had this random thought today that I'm really going to miss page-turning for Erica when I graduate. And I'm really going to miss DTC and her incredible combination of musical and spiritual knowledge and wisdom. Because I know this is a season, I'm having a hard time just enjoying it instead of looking to the future. It basically sucks. I'm also going to miss everyone in my studio when they're all playing piano in grad school and I'm teaching math.
What am I doing? I feel like I'm not really making the most of my time here. I'm not taking advantage of all the opportunities God is giving me to grow His Kingdom. What exactly will I have accomplished for Christ's sake after I've spent 8 semesters in the music department?
Grrrrr. I really am just rambling. Sorry.
I've also been watching lots of episodes of Full House.
&
I've been doing Proofs all weekend. I've been lazy, though, and haven't been able to complete a single assignment. I turned pages for a concert last night, and again for one this afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I love doing that. I just hate never having time to do anything.
I'm also getting sick and have way too much to do to be getting sick.
Whatever. I'm also missing my best friend. I feel pretty lonely. This is a season of growth for me. I know that God wants me to be satisfied only in Him, but He also designed us for community with one another. However, there is a fine line especially in my human brain. So I'm struggling. But God is good and faithful, so it'll be okay.
I'm also just kind of frustrated with the current state of my brain.
I love college. I love music. I like math. I want to teach. I want to tell people about Jesus. I want to keep being friends with all my friends. I'm kind of being a pessimist, but I'm really trying not to be! I'm thinking ahead way too much but it just seems like everything is moving so so so fast! This is my last semester that I'm taking more music classes than math classes, and it's so much fun. Except my one math class that isn't even math (proofs/logic) is taking up ALL MY TIME so I can't do anything else and have no time to practice piano. I seriously hate it.
I especially hate that once I graduate in less than 5 semesters, I won't be doing music so much any more. I'm sad because I really love it. And soon it'll be over.
What's the most unfortunate I think is my friends. I had this random thought today that I'm really going to miss page-turning for Erica when I graduate. And I'm really going to miss DTC and her incredible combination of musical and spiritual knowledge and wisdom. Because I know this is a season, I'm having a hard time just enjoying it instead of looking to the future. It basically sucks. I'm also going to miss everyone in my studio when they're all playing piano in grad school and I'm teaching math.
What am I doing? I feel like I'm not really making the most of my time here. I'm not taking advantage of all the opportunities God is giving me to grow His Kingdom. What exactly will I have accomplished for Christ's sake after I've spent 8 semesters in the music department?
Grrrrr. I really am just rambling. Sorry.
I've also been watching lots of episodes of Full House.
&
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Merrily Rolling Along
Or something like that.
I know I don't write a lot, and I think part of it is because I don't think I have much to say, but also that I don't have a lot of time. And I should probably doing one of two things right now that isn't this: sleeping, or reading and praying over Scripture. Both things I will do once I finish writing.
Dude life is crazy. Awesome, in fact, but also crazy. If I could explain it to you, I would. I'll try.
This past weekend I went to SEBTS (Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) in Wake Forest for 20/20 Conference where the theme was Gospel and Mission and I had my mind blown a few times. It was pretty cool. One of my favorite little sessions, though, was one called "The Arts and the Mission of God." Dude. I can't even being to explain it. I'll probably dedicate an entire separate post to it because it seriously rocked my world.
It was good. Also, I'm realizing the beauty and depth and authenticity of God's love lately. Not that I've ever not known about it or that it was there and real, but just that I'm starting to see it and grasp it more. I have 2 friends, both very close to me, who are struggling with realizing God's love and understanding its vastness and the fact that it has no conditions. Part of that was going to this conference, but I was thinking about it before that as well. God's been completely amazing lately. I mean, He always is, but He's been working in such a way that I've been able to see it so plainly and connect all (well, from my point of view) the dots. I go from one thing to another, learning and experiencing all kinds of things, and then from Kairos to 6:33 to Bible study to 20/20 conference to Skype conversations to lunch dates, I learn something from one aspect that applies to another, or I encounter a situation where I don't fully grasp it or understand how to respond or react, and then another area has the answer. It's been so plain.
Don't get me wrong, though. I've seen God work in my life, well, my whole life. Looking back, that is. I obviously don't remember being an infant. It gives me so much hope. Like, how could I ever doubt God again? Is He not always faithful? Is He not always with us? Does He not always love us regardless of the FACT that we do NOT deserve it? Because when I look back, I remember times when I was angry with God and felt terrible and wanted to end my life and hated everything based on what now seem like trivial circumstances. I remember these times, and I remember that God delivered me. Even though I was not always faithful. I'm still not. I will always strive to be, but I won't measure up. I am so thankful for grace. I cannot say that enough, truly. I look back on my life and see what God was doing and why, and am beginning to understand why it was necessary. Now all I want to do is to bring Him glory no matter what I'm doing, even if it hurts and things don't go my way or life gets uncomfortable.
Take into account: I say all this, and yet I have not been persecuted for the sake of Christ. I have not been put into a situation where my faith was the only thing I had. That scares me. How real is my faith, then? I'm not necessarily suggesting that I need to set myself up to be in danger or to get hurt or to be let down or scared or in trouble or to be persecuted. But then again, I kind of am.
I've got a lot to think about, y'all. I wanna do something that grows God's Kingdom. Lately I've been entertaining the idea of going to a country that hasn't heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know how, and I don't know what the heck I would do, but that's the ultimate goal: to win people's souls for Christ, including our own; living as Christ did.
Didn't mean to unload all that, but that's what happens sometimes.
In other news, I have made significant progress in my fitness routine and progressively more healthy lifestyle. Woop woop! I did stay up too late last night, though. Then had lots of coffee today. Then worked out and felt awful. Then saw Les Miserables for the 3rd time. Holler at free popcorn Mondays at the Lyric.
My prayer for you is Ephesians 3:17-19, "that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
&
I know I don't write a lot, and I think part of it is because I don't think I have much to say, but also that I don't have a lot of time. And I should probably doing one of two things right now that isn't this: sleeping, or reading and praying over Scripture. Both things I will do once I finish writing.
Dude life is crazy. Awesome, in fact, but also crazy. If I could explain it to you, I would. I'll try.
This past weekend I went to SEBTS (Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) in Wake Forest for 20/20 Conference where the theme was Gospel and Mission and I had my mind blown a few times. It was pretty cool. One of my favorite little sessions, though, was one called "The Arts and the Mission of God." Dude. I can't even being to explain it. I'll probably dedicate an entire separate post to it because it seriously rocked my world.
It was good. Also, I'm realizing the beauty and depth and authenticity of God's love lately. Not that I've ever not known about it or that it was there and real, but just that I'm starting to see it and grasp it more. I have 2 friends, both very close to me, who are struggling with realizing God's love and understanding its vastness and the fact that it has no conditions. Part of that was going to this conference, but I was thinking about it before that as well. God's been completely amazing lately. I mean, He always is, but He's been working in such a way that I've been able to see it so plainly and connect all (well, from my point of view) the dots. I go from one thing to another, learning and experiencing all kinds of things, and then from Kairos to 6:33 to Bible study to 20/20 conference to Skype conversations to lunch dates, I learn something from one aspect that applies to another, or I encounter a situation where I don't fully grasp it or understand how to respond or react, and then another area has the answer. It's been so plain.
Don't get me wrong, though. I've seen God work in my life, well, my whole life. Looking back, that is. I obviously don't remember being an infant. It gives me so much hope. Like, how could I ever doubt God again? Is He not always faithful? Is He not always with us? Does He not always love us regardless of the FACT that we do NOT deserve it? Because when I look back, I remember times when I was angry with God and felt terrible and wanted to end my life and hated everything based on what now seem like trivial circumstances. I remember these times, and I remember that God delivered me. Even though I was not always faithful. I'm still not. I will always strive to be, but I won't measure up. I am so thankful for grace. I cannot say that enough, truly. I look back on my life and see what God was doing and why, and am beginning to understand why it was necessary. Now all I want to do is to bring Him glory no matter what I'm doing, even if it hurts and things don't go my way or life gets uncomfortable.
Take into account: I say all this, and yet I have not been persecuted for the sake of Christ. I have not been put into a situation where my faith was the only thing I had. That scares me. How real is my faith, then? I'm not necessarily suggesting that I need to set myself up to be in danger or to get hurt or to be let down or scared or in trouble or to be persecuted. But then again, I kind of am.
I've got a lot to think about, y'all. I wanna do something that grows God's Kingdom. Lately I've been entertaining the idea of going to a country that hasn't heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know how, and I don't know what the heck I would do, but that's the ultimate goal: to win people's souls for Christ, including our own; living as Christ did.
Didn't mean to unload all that, but that's what happens sometimes.
In other news, I have made significant progress in my fitness routine and progressively more healthy lifestyle. Woop woop! I did stay up too late last night, though. Then had lots of coffee today. Then worked out and felt awful. Then saw Les Miserables for the 3rd time. Holler at free popcorn Mondays at the Lyric.
My prayer for you is Ephesians 3:17-19, "that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
&
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)